The Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference
Undoing the Damage; Affirming our Lives Together
June 29th-July 1st, 2007. University of California at Irvine
(Please note: This will possibly be a one-time-only event)
The ex-gay experience is unique in many ways. No one understands it better than those of us who have been through it. Creating a communal space for ex-gay survivors to tell their stories allows us to share what led us into an ex-gay lifestyle and ways we have been able to recover from it.
This conference is for you
- If you have ever been through an ex-gay experience.
- If you been damaged by the message that God does not love and affirm you.
- If you are confused about the Bible and homosexuality.
- If you are currently in an ex-gay program and wondering if change is really possible.
- If you are the spouse, parent or partner of someone who has been affected by ex-gay experiences.
- If you are thinking about trying to change who you are.
- If you want to stand in peaceful solidarity to lovingly confront the damaging consequences of the ex-gay movement.
- If you want to learn how to be a powerful ally.
- If you are a mental health professional and want to learn more to effectively help your clients.
This conference is different!
This conference will be as interactive as possible. You'll participate as much or as little as you wish and we'll have workshops for both allies and survivors. Since many of us will come from Christian backgrounds, we'll explore those topics, but it is not necessarily a Christian conference. People of all faiths (or none) are welcome to attend and participate and our individual faith journeys will be affirmed. There will be no keynote speakers; we've been talked at long enough! It's our turn now. This may possibly be our only conference; so plan to attend! Your input will make a difference.
Conference workshop topics will include:
— From the Chat Room to the Talk Show: Processing and Sharing Our Stories
— What the Bible Says & Doesn't Say About Homosexuality
— Impacting the Media: Successful Strategies for Sharing Your Story with Confidence
— Ex-Gay 101 for Allies, Solidarity Partners and Mental Health Professionals
— Building Healthy Relationships After the Ex-Gay Experience
— Becoming a Powerful Ally
--Courting Justice--Ex-Gays and the Law
— Telling Our Stories Creatively through Writing, Blogging, Art, Video and More
Workshop leaders:
Peterson Toscano, creator of Doin' time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House: How I survived the Ex-gay Movement
Darlene Bogle, former Exodus leader and author of A Christian Lesbian Journey: A Continuation of Long Road to Love
Jeff Lutes, MS, LPC, Executive Director of Soulforce and licensed psychotherapist
Rev. Phil Lawson, a United Methodist minister, and veteran of the 1960's civil rights movement
Paige Schilt, Soulforce Director of Media and Public RelationsRev. Dr. Mel White, co-founder of Soulforce and author of Stranger at the Gate and Religion Gone Bad: The Hidden Dangers of the Religious RightJason Canciotto, Research Director for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.Jallen Rix, Ed.D, ex-gay survivor, Doctor of Education in Sexology and musician who focuses on healthy sexuality and recovery from ex-gay experiences.
Entertainment includes:
Peterson Toscano's show Doin' time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House: How I survived the Ex-gay Movement.
Jason and deMarco in concert in combination with The Ex-Gay Survivors Film Forum
The Ex-Gay Survivor's Film Forum is five filmmakers presenting excerpts from their original documentary films highlighting the ex-gay experience. Some will include never-before-seen footage.
The films will include:
Tom Murray: Fish Can't Fly (2005)
Luane Beck and Kim Clark: God & Gays—Bridging the Gap (2006)
Esteban Rael: Me and God (2007)
Lisa Darden: For Such a Time as This (2008)
Morgan J. Fox: This is What Love in Action Looks Like (2008)
Both Friday and Saturday night shows are FREE and open to the public.
A reading by Regan DuCass from her play Shepard/Till-The American Verses
Register now!
Registration online is highly recommended. Registrations at the door will be accepted as space allows.
Register here for the Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference
($40 registration fee - but no one turned away for lack of funds)
Schedule of Events
Friday, June 29, 2007, 7pm - 9pm
Doing time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House: How I survived the Ex-gay Movement - a performance by ex-gay survivor Peterson Toscano, www.homonomo.com. This humorous and touching one-man play is based on his two year experience in an ex-gay residential program and the people he met on his journey. This show is FREE and open to the public. Location: Crystal Cove Auditorium.
Saturday, June 30, 2007, 9am - 5pm
The conference will offer an array of interactive workshops for ex-gay survivors, allies and those who wish to stand in solidarity with ex-gay survivors. The survivor workshops will help survivors of ex-gay experiences process their past as the conference brings survivors together to share their stories. (See the top of the page for a list of workshops.)
Saturday, June 30, 2007, 7pm
Jason & deMarco in Concert! www.jasonanddemarco.com with The Ex-Gay Survivors Film Forum
This show is FREE and open to the public. Location: Crystal Cove Auditorium
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Optional worship at a local welcoming & affirming church, and more in the works.
Hotel lodging and information
Doubletree Hotel Irvine Spectrum
90 Pacifica Avenue
Irvine, CA 92618
telephone: 1-949-471-8888
fax: 1-949-471-8600
Ask for the Soulforce special deluxe guest room rate of $105.00 Standard/$125.00 Executive Level per night Friday through Sunday, single or double occupancy stay (Executive Level Upgraded Amenities include: Full American Breakfast Buffet Coupons for two people, Wine Vouchers for two people, bathrobes, bottled water, high speed internet access, turndown service with chocolates). This special Soulforce room rate includes:
- Self-parking fee of $7.00 per night waived
- Courtesy roundtrip shuttle service to University of California Irvine at a nominal fee of $3 per person each way
- Complimentary roundtrip airport shuttle to John Wayne/Orange County Airport
- Complimentary roundtrip shuttle service to the conference and Irvine Spectrum Entertainment Center, host to 21 Edwards Cinema’s, more than 20 eateries and 50 cutting-edge retail stores
- Outdoor swimming pool, whirlpool, and fitness center
- A warm welcome and Doubletree’s Chocolate Chip Cookies upon arrival
Conference sponsors
Beyond Ex-Gay and Soulforce have partnered with the LGBT Resource Center at UC Irvine to bring you this one-of-a-kind conference.
Conference promotional fliers for download
Press Release
Recent events have brought national attention to the existence of programs intended to modify same-sex desires. While much of that attention has focused on whether sexual orientation is subject to change, beyondexgay.com and The Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference are the first efforts to move beyond that debate in order to focus on the community of “survivors”—people who feel they have experienced more harm than benefits from ex-gay programs.
“We use the term ‘survivor’ because we want to emphasize the very real psychological trauma that these programs can cause, and also because we want to highlight the strength of the men and women who, in spite of enormous pressures, come to accept themselves as they are,” says Jeff Lutes, a practicing psychotherapist and Executive Director of Soulforce.
The creators of beyondexgay.com, Peterson Toscano and Christine Bakke, talked to hundreds of fellow ex-gay survivors. What they heard, again and again, was that ex-gay experiences brought inner turmoil, confusion and shame.
Many survivors acknowledge that some good came of their ex-gay journey. “We grew to understand our sexuality better and in some cases even overcame life-controlling problems,” says Toscano, but he is quick to point out that the harm most survivors experience far outweighs the help they receive. The consensus of the major medical and mental health organizations is that homosexuality is not a disorder and, therefore, does not need to be cured. The American Psychological Association identifies “depression, anxiety, and self-destructive behavior” among the possible risks associated with ex-gay therapies.
Toscano spent 17 years and over $30,000 on three continents attempting to change or at least contain his unwanted same-sex attractions. He ultimately endured two years at the Love in Action residential ex-gay program in Memphis, TN.
“In the end I was still very gay, but also depressed, isolated and nearly faithless,” he says.
Toscano, now a Christian Quaker, has since created a one-person comedy about his ex-gay experiences and has presented Doin' Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House and his other work throughout North America, Europe, West Africa and the Caribbean. In spring 2005, Bakke contacted Toscano after attending one of his performances.
Bakke herself spent more than 4 years trying to change her orientation. She moved to Denver in 1998 to become ex-gay and participated in a program affiliated with Exodus International, the largest network of ex-gay ministries. In 2003 she realized that while she had changed in many areas, her sexual orientation remained the same. Bakke’s story will be featured in the May issue of Glamour, which hit newsstands April 10.
Bakke and Toscano continued to dialogue, and last spring they decided it was time to reach out to more ex-gay survivors through the Internet. Together with assistance from their friend, Steve Boese, they form the perfect team: Bakke—a graphic designer, Toscano—a writer, and Boese—a web guru and founder of MyOrgHost.
Beyondexgay.com currently features diverse narratives from ex-gay survivors. It also provides an array of resources, including original articles and art by survivors, as well as links to other sites. Soon survivors will have the option to join the community and create a profile. Through an on-line form, they will document and share their own ex-gay experiences. Their responses will then be added to a database that will track the variety and scope of ex-gay experiences endured by survivors.
"The ex-gay experience is unique in many ways. No one understands it better than those of us who have been through it. Creating a communal space for ex-gay survivors to tell their stories allows us to share what led us into an ex-gay lifestyle and ways we have been able to recover from it,” says Bakke.
Creating a space for survivors to come together and share their stories was also the impetus behind The Ex-Gay Survivor’s Conference: Undoing the Damage; Affirming our Lives Together. The conference, which will take place June 29th through July 1st at the University of California-Irvine, is co-sponsored by the LGBT Resource Center at UC Irvine.
“We chose Irvine because the annual Exodus Freedom Conference is coming to Irvine that week,” says Lutes. “For Soulforce, beyondexgay.com, and the LGBT Resource Center at UC Irvine, it is very important to provide a positive response to the Exodus message that gay men and lesbians are sinful and disordered.”
If you want to stand in peaceful solidarity to lovingly confront the damaging consequences of the ex-gay movement – this conference is for you. If you have ever been through an ex-gay experience or been damaged by the message that God does not love and affirm you – this conference is for you. If you are confused about the Bible and homosexuality, currently in an ex-gay program, or thinking about trying to change who you are – this conference is for you.
Register
Registration online is highly recommended. Registrations at the door will be accepted as space allows.
Register here for the Survivor's Conference
($40 registration fee - but no one turned away for lack of funds)
(Photo of Phil Lawson courtesy of East Bay Housing Organizations, EBHO.)